Backyard Magic

the five elements of natural spirituality

Photo by Bogomil Mihaylov on Unsplash

“Hello, old friend,” I greet my tree. The majestic Eastern White Pine is speckled deep green and bronze-gold, her fall colors. It isn’t entirely true that only deciduous trees lose their leaves in autumn, coniferous trees also shed some of their needles, a fact I learned our first fall here when I discovered that I was raking a thick layer of pine needles with the maple leaves in our yard. I run my fingers through the needles of her willowy lower branches, noting the few bag worm chrysalises that I have neglected to remove. No time like the present. I am holding a particularly brilliant orange leaf from the ancient maple tree nearby, and it is big enough and not yet too brittle to use as a mitt. One by one I pinch the sap-sucking parasites and pull, then move to the edge of the pond and toss them in. An inelegant solution, but it’ll do. Back and forth I walk, unselfconsciously speaking aloud when I feel like it, murmuring to my tree as I work to keep her healthy. Inside, I am roiling.

Amma, I whisper, not sure if it is thought or prayer, aloud or within the unquiet silence of my brain.

Amma, how can I feel so right and so scared?